30 jan 2011
I know im just like a black spot in a white clothes.i always make trouble at them.i know both of you dislike being my sisters.mayb both of you think that I am annoyed sister.and mayb both of you think that I am such a troublemaker.yes K always said “kau nh skitskit merajuk’’ ‘’ngadangada lah kau’’ ‘’nak marah jeh tau’’ herm.idc if you say like that.did you think that I am a heartless person?i have feeling.you don’t know I always crying about that.and just now you do it again.i cant stand it anymore.my heart is hurting.H since we in the same school from primary and until 1 months 2 weeks im in sigs we like ‘’belangkas’’ you always share secret and story at me.but now..no more since I go into stf.mayb this is because im not around.it doesn’t mean that im jealous because you and K are close together.but,can you imagine my feeling.i think when im back home theres someone can cheer me up.but im wrong.WRONG!im unneed in this house.i feel better I stayed in hostel.at least when im crying theres someone can cheer me up.when K mad at me , H will defend K.when H is mad at me , K will defend H.but me,when im mad,who will defend me.they don’t know how my feeling.they buy grey t-shirt and also for me one.but,when H wears it , I want to weas she mad.but ,when H wears it and K want to wear it she didn’t mad at all.imagine my feeling.imagine guys.K,H you think its easy after you all mad at me and you makes happy?im not going to laugh.if I laugh mayb its just the fake one.you all always being together.hanging together.you all invite me,but I said no.why?because it just make me hurt.you treat H t-shirt.im not saying that im jealous.but wht I feel?you said you want to treat me too but when I asked?the same answer I get ‘’aku takd duitlah’’ ‘’nntilah’’ but for H ? everything she can.H you’re the lucky one.K you such a nice sister J but you think.you have two sisters.i repeat,two sisters.give them a stable love.give them a stable ‘layanan’.H , you like a nice sister too.but if you need me then you come , but if not until the end you’ll not come too.and now I know im not a good younger sister for you.im just like a troublemaker for both of you.every single thing I do,it unacceptable for you all J I understand.you all mayb see that I always happy.active person.but , deep inside my heart ? who knows?only God know.if theres a person can hear my prob I will tell that person everything.when im in trouble who help me?nobody.you all don’t know hows my life in stf.probs always being my friends.i tot at home probs will not being my friends but its not.at home more hurt me.i prefer more to hostel.argh,forget it.move on babe